Breaking the ice with that new girl doesn’t have to be a nerve-racking experience. When you introduce yourself to a girl, it doesn’t need to include a cheesy, creepy pick up line. It can be sincere and honest.
Be Confident
I can’t stress how important this is. Girls love confident guys. Be careful not to go to far with it though. Conceit is a complete turn off. You want confidence to completely be a part of who you are. Talk, walk, eat, sleep, work and play confidently.
Be Well Groomed and Well Dressed
This sounds obvious but let me tell you the logic behind it. A guy who has the time to groom and time to coordinate clothing obviously does well enough at work or school to afford such time. Dressing well by matching color or style suggests intelligence and creativity. Desirable traits in any potential date.
Get Rid of Bad Odors
This is a complete turn off for a girl. Bad odors equals bad hygiene in the mind of a girl. Make this one a lifestyle change. Shower and bath regularly, brush and floss your teeth, use deodorant(novel idea) and wash your clothes. If your first impression is a bad smell, good luck getting a second date.
No Corny Pick-Up Lines
Don’t even try this, even if your temped to. They don’t work, they never did work, they never will work.
Be Assertive
This is similar to confidence. Being assertive is to be full of direction and intent. For example: Your going on a date with a girl and haven’t decided where you are going to take her for supper. You pick her up and ask her where she would like to go. She says “I don’t know, where would you like to go?”. Now you could just reply “I don’t know either”, and have a bit of a fight about where you both would like to have supper or you could be assertive and say “If it really doesn’t matter to you, I know of this great place downtown with incredible pasta.”
Eat and Exercise to Good Health
If you look unhealthy, then you probably are unhealthy. No girl searching for a prospective date is going to be interested in you if you appear unhealthy. Healthy looking skin, hair, eyes, body will all be definite pluses.
Have Intelligent Conversation
This one can take a little while to master. Basically what you want to do is find out at what level of intelligence she is at and talk to her at that level. If she is talking about pompoms and candy canes don’t talk to her about rocket science. Get the idea? You want to find things you have in common. Ask open ended questions. “So you have just moved in from the east? That’s great, I have always wanted to travel that way. Tell me about why you moved?”
Try Matching Yourself to Girls You Plan to Approach
If you rate yourself as a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, and you are trying to meet girls that are 9’s, good luck. Matching yourself up will go a long way to being successful. Now if you don’t know what you are find a good friend, who is a girl and get her honest opinion.
Be Honest, Be Yourself
There are two ways to communicate. You communicate with what you say and with your body language. If what you say doesn’t line up with how your acting, you will be perceived as a liar. Your body language is hard to manipulate and tends to be the most honest part of your communication. If you think you need to act like someone else to meet a girl, then maybe you should just let someone else pick her up.
Lower Your Standards
Still having difficulties? Maybe your shooting too high. Dating and making first introductions is a tough thing to do and is not something you know instinctively. Getting some practice under your belt can be a real confidence builder. Besides that, a date is only a date, not a life long commitment. Relax a bit, don’t take things too seriously. Just because your friends don’t approve of how some girl looks doesn’t mean she has nothing to offer. Go and have a little fun, loosen up a bit and you may find that the girl you pick as a second choice should have been your first.
Be Bold About Your Shortcomings
Are you going bald? Then shave off all of your hair! Hiding things you are insecure about makes you appear insecure. Placing those things in plain view that most would find to be a disadvantage demonstrates courage and boldness. Turn your disadvantage into an advantage.
If You Live With Mom, Move Out!
This is totally unsexy. You will have a very difficult time picking up a girl if this is your situation.
Get a Job
Hmmm….if I laze around the house, dodge bill collectors, play video games all day, bum money off my friends, then I should still be able to pick up a decent girl right? Not!! This should be self explanatory, but for those of you who still don’t get it, here it is. A job equals success, ability to provide, responsibility, maturity, and a drive to better ones self. All of which are good things.
Be a Responsible Citizen
Why do I even need to mention this one? Be responsible, pay your bills, keep your commitments, resist violence. Are you one of those guys who always manages to get into fight everywhere you go? This is totally wrong. Your tendency towards violence will scare anyone you are near to. Total turn off to a quality girl.
Don’t Be a Cheapskate
If you ask a girl out to dinner, be prepared to pay for it. Also take her out to a place that you would probably only frequent a couple of times a year because it is a little expensive. This doesn’t mean you need to dump your whole paycheck on dinner, that would just be stupid. Any girl who cares about you, even a little, would never expect you to do that. Basically, don’t take your date to the place where you hang with the guys, take her to a place that is a little more special. The extra thought will win you points.
Give Compliments
Most people are insecure and generally have low opinions of themselves. A compliment is a real ray of sunshine if it is delivered in a sincere manner. There is nothing wrong will approaching a girl you don’t know and saying, “I saw you in class yesterday wearing your hair up, and it really made you stand out. I just thought I would let you know.”. I have yet to meet a sane girl who dislikes genuine compliments.
Give Gifts
Now lets be sensible about this one. You are either on a first date with a girl or you are just trying to meet her. Do you think it is appropriate to buy her a diamond ring? Nope. If you do you will come across as mentally deficient. A small, cute, reasonably insignificant gift would be perfect. Something that says, “Hey, I like you”. Flowers?
Be Polite and Go Through the Formal Introductions
The “Hi my name is ….”, and the “I work at so-and-so doing this”, and the “It’s very nice to meet you, by the way what is your name?”. This formal routine can be a lifesaver for any guy who can’t get two words out because of nervousness. You can rehearse this over and over because when the moment of truth comes to approach the girl, your structured introduction won’t come off phony. The formality is structured.
Don’t Come On Too Strong
If you NEED a girlfriend then don’t go looking for one. Spend some time thinking about why you have to have one. If you have to have a girl and go looking for one, girls will spot your baggage a mile-a-way. Who wants to start a relationship will a whole lot of neediness and clinginess from the start?
Stay Away From Drugs and Go Easy On the Alcohol
Quality girls don’t want guys who are into illegal stuff. Getting wasted on alcohol and barfing all over the back seat of the car is not cool. It makes you a slobbering idiot and someone who needs to be babysat, again, not cool. Don’t snort, smoke or shoot up. Enjoy a few drinks responsibly and get a cab home. Only scumbag girls like drugs and would have you as a supplier if they can’t get the stuff for free. Don’t touch these girls with a ten foot pole, even if they are hot. Don’t worry after a couple of years doing meth, they won’t look so hot anymore.
When Getting Turned Down, Do So With Grace
Getting all weepy eyed or ticked off will just make you look like a moron. The unexpectedness of your request may have prompted an automatic “no”. Maybe after some time she may change her mind. Leave the door open and don’t burn any bridges. Keep in mind she may have a single friend who might take you up on your offer and you certainly don’t want to look bad in front of her either. Oh, by the way, girls do talk to each other.
Don’t Blast the Market Like a Telemarketer
Don’t ask every girl that crosses you path out on a date. This looks desperate and can be crippling if you get a reputation for asking anyone out. A girl likes to feel special. If she is just number 11 on your list of girls to ask out, there’s really nothing special about that. Single out a few girls you are interested in and pursue them. Be sensitive about your timing.
Know That Some girls Will Never Make Good Decisions About Men
Sometimes you just have to face facts. If you find the perfect girl, she’s perfect for you, your perfect for her, she may still turn you down. There’s nothing you can do about it. Let it go and move on.
Let Things Happen Naturally
Forcing something to happen because you don’t feel like things are going right will bring your momentum to a hasty stop. Let your first conversation take on a life of it’s own, let it flow and don’t force anything. If things aren’t going as you would have hoped, you can always find a new date. Nothing says you can’t turn her down.
Be a Happy-Go-Lucky Guy Who Rarely Gets Angry
This is good advice for living, not just picking up girls. People want to be around other people who are happy. When is the last time you remembered wanting to hang around anyone who was depressing and prone to fits of rage? Never! Angry men are a scary proposition for a single woman.
Know That Your Potential Date Has Almost Certainly Already Sized You Up
Girls are extremely perceptive. You will be more successful in meeting a girl by applying this list long before you see the girl you are interested in. Girls will have already compared you to this list long before you ask them out.
Be Passionate About What You Like but Don’t be Obsessive
It’s ok to like sports and fishing, those are both really fun things. But when you are obsessive about them you are most definitely going to neglect the girl, and girls will sniff this out early about you. Your passions should be balanced by the passions of your new date. If you really like a girl, then things that are of interest to her should be of some interest to you. Strive for balance.
Have a Positive Outlook on Life
This is always good advice. Doom and gloom is very unattractive, unless your goth.
Be Spiritually Grounded
Now, I’m not saying you have to the most religious guy at church, or that you should be attending any particular church. What I am saying is that believing in something that is bigger than you, knowing your place in the universe can be a very appealing quality. It speaks to enlightenment and wisdom, both desirable qualities.
Get Comfortable With Being Turned Down
It is a part of the game to be turned down. Don’t get too frustrated or depressed about it. Sometimes the problem isn’t you!
Be Confident
I can’t stress how important this is. Girls love confident guys. Be careful not to go to far with it though. Conceit is a complete turn off. You want confidence to completely be a part of who you are. Talk, walk, eat, sleep, work and play confidently.
Be Well Groomed and Well Dressed
This sounds obvious but let me tell you the logic behind it. A guy who has the time to groom and time to coordinate clothing obviously does well enough at work or school to afford such time. Dressing well by matching color or style suggests intelligence and creativity. Desirable traits in any potential date.
Get Rid of Bad Odors
This is a complete turn off for a girl. Bad odors equals bad hygiene in the mind of a girl. Make this one a lifestyle change. Shower and bath regularly, brush and floss your teeth, use deodorant(novel idea) and wash your clothes. If your first impression is a bad smell, good luck getting a second date.
No Corny Pick-Up Lines
Don’t even try this, even if your temped to. They don’t work, they never did work, they never will work.
Be Assertive
This is similar to confidence. Being assertive is to be full of direction and intent. For example: Your going on a date with a girl and haven’t decided where you are going to take her for supper. You pick her up and ask her where she would like to go. She says “I don’t know, where would you like to go?”. Now you could just reply “I don’t know either”, and have a bit of a fight about where you both would like to have supper or you could be assertive and say “If it really doesn’t matter to you, I know of this great place downtown with incredible pasta.”
Eat and Exercise to Good Health
If you look unhealthy, then you probably are unhealthy. No girl searching for a prospective date is going to be interested in you if you appear unhealthy. Healthy looking skin, hair, eyes, body will all be definite pluses.
Have Intelligent Conversation
This one can take a little while to master. Basically what you want to do is find out at what level of intelligence she is at and talk to her at that level. If she is talking about pompoms and candy canes don’t talk to her about rocket science. Get the idea? You want to find things you have in common. Ask open ended questions. “So you have just moved in from the east? That’s great, I have always wanted to travel that way. Tell me about why you moved?”
Try Matching Yourself to Girls You Plan to Approach
If you rate yourself as a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, and you are trying to meet girls that are 9’s, good luck. Matching yourself up will go a long way to being successful. Now if you don’t know what you are find a good friend, who is a girl and get her honest opinion.
Be Honest, Be Yourself
There are two ways to communicate. You communicate with what you say and with your body language. If what you say doesn’t line up with how your acting, you will be perceived as a liar. Your body language is hard to manipulate and tends to be the most honest part of your communication. If you think you need to act like someone else to meet a girl, then maybe you should just let someone else pick her up.
Lower Your Standards
Still having difficulties? Maybe your shooting too high. Dating and making first introductions is a tough thing to do and is not something you know instinctively. Getting some practice under your belt can be a real confidence builder. Besides that, a date is only a date, not a life long commitment. Relax a bit, don’t take things too seriously. Just because your friends don’t approve of how some girl looks doesn’t mean she has nothing to offer. Go and have a little fun, loosen up a bit and you may find that the girl you pick as a second choice should have been your first.
Be Bold About Your Shortcomings
Are you going bald? Then shave off all of your hair! Hiding things you are insecure about makes you appear insecure. Placing those things in plain view that most would find to be a disadvantage demonstrates courage and boldness. Turn your disadvantage into an advantage.
If You Live With Mom, Move Out!
This is totally unsexy. You will have a very difficult time picking up a girl if this is your situation.
Get a Job
Hmmm….if I laze around the house, dodge bill collectors, play video games all day, bum money off my friends, then I should still be able to pick up a decent girl right? Not!! This should be self explanatory, but for those of you who still don’t get it, here it is. A job equals success, ability to provide, responsibility, maturity, and a drive to better ones self. All of which are good things.
Be a Responsible Citizen
Why do I even need to mention this one? Be responsible, pay your bills, keep your commitments, resist violence. Are you one of those guys who always manages to get into fight everywhere you go? This is totally wrong. Your tendency towards violence will scare anyone you are near to. Total turn off to a quality girl.
Don’t Be a Cheapskate
If you ask a girl out to dinner, be prepared to pay for it. Also take her out to a place that you would probably only frequent a couple of times a year because it is a little expensive. This doesn’t mean you need to dump your whole paycheck on dinner, that would just be stupid. Any girl who cares about you, even a little, would never expect you to do that. Basically, don’t take your date to the place where you hang with the guys, take her to a place that is a little more special. The extra thought will win you points.
Give Compliments
Most people are insecure and generally have low opinions of themselves. A compliment is a real ray of sunshine if it is delivered in a sincere manner. There is nothing wrong will approaching a girl you don’t know and saying, “I saw you in class yesterday wearing your hair up, and it really made you stand out. I just thought I would let you know.”. I have yet to meet a sane girl who dislikes genuine compliments.
Give Gifts
Now lets be sensible about this one. You are either on a first date with a girl or you are just trying to meet her. Do you think it is appropriate to buy her a diamond ring? Nope. If you do you will come across as mentally deficient. A small, cute, reasonably insignificant gift would be perfect. Something that says, “Hey, I like you”. Flowers?
Be Polite and Go Through the Formal Introductions
The “Hi my name is ….”, and the “I work at so-and-so doing this”, and the “It’s very nice to meet you, by the way what is your name?”. This formal routine can be a lifesaver for any guy who can’t get two words out because of nervousness. You can rehearse this over and over because when the moment of truth comes to approach the girl, your structured introduction won’t come off phony. The formality is structured.
Don’t Come On Too Strong
If you NEED a girlfriend then don’t go looking for one. Spend some time thinking about why you have to have one. If you have to have a girl and go looking for one, girls will spot your baggage a mile-a-way. Who wants to start a relationship will a whole lot of neediness and clinginess from the start?
Stay Away From Drugs and Go Easy On the Alcohol
Quality girls don’t want guys who are into illegal stuff. Getting wasted on alcohol and barfing all over the back seat of the car is not cool. It makes you a slobbering idiot and someone who needs to be babysat, again, not cool. Don’t snort, smoke or shoot up. Enjoy a few drinks responsibly and get a cab home. Only scumbag girls like drugs and would have you as a supplier if they can’t get the stuff for free. Don’t touch these girls with a ten foot pole, even if they are hot. Don’t worry after a couple of years doing meth, they won’t look so hot anymore.
When Getting Turned Down, Do So With Grace
Getting all weepy eyed or ticked off will just make you look like a moron. The unexpectedness of your request may have prompted an automatic “no”. Maybe after some time she may change her mind. Leave the door open and don’t burn any bridges. Keep in mind she may have a single friend who might take you up on your offer and you certainly don’t want to look bad in front of her either. Oh, by the way, girls do talk to each other.
Don’t Blast the Market Like a Telemarketer
Don’t ask every girl that crosses you path out on a date. This looks desperate and can be crippling if you get a reputation for asking anyone out. A girl likes to feel special. If she is just number 11 on your list of girls to ask out, there’s really nothing special about that. Single out a few girls you are interested in and pursue them. Be sensitive about your timing.
Know That Some girls Will Never Make Good Decisions About Men
Sometimes you just have to face facts. If you find the perfect girl, she’s perfect for you, your perfect for her, she may still turn you down. There’s nothing you can do about it. Let it go and move on.
Let Things Happen Naturally
Forcing something to happen because you don’t feel like things are going right will bring your momentum to a hasty stop. Let your first conversation take on a life of it’s own, let it flow and don’t force anything. If things aren’t going as you would have hoped, you can always find a new date. Nothing says you can’t turn her down.
Be a Happy-Go-Lucky Guy Who Rarely Gets Angry
This is good advice for living, not just picking up girls. People want to be around other people who are happy. When is the last time you remembered wanting to hang around anyone who was depressing and prone to fits of rage? Never! Angry men are a scary proposition for a single woman.
Know That Your Potential Date Has Almost Certainly Already Sized You Up
Girls are extremely perceptive. You will be more successful in meeting a girl by applying this list long before you see the girl you are interested in. Girls will have already compared you to this list long before you ask them out.
Be Passionate About What You Like but Don’t be Obsessive
It’s ok to like sports and fishing, those are both really fun things. But when you are obsessive about them you are most definitely going to neglect the girl, and girls will sniff this out early about you. Your passions should be balanced by the passions of your new date. If you really like a girl, then things that are of interest to her should be of some interest to you. Strive for balance.
Have a Positive Outlook on Life
This is always good advice. Doom and gloom is very unattractive, unless your goth.
Be Spiritually Grounded
Now, I’m not saying you have to the most religious guy at church, or that you should be attending any particular church. What I am saying is that believing in something that is bigger than you, knowing your place in the universe can be a very appealing quality. It speaks to enlightenment and wisdom, both desirable qualities.
Get Comfortable With Being Turned Down
It is a part of the game to be turned down. Don’t get too frustrated or depressed about it. Sometimes the problem isn’t you!
