A man and his wife are playing golf, the woman steps up to the tee and hits her ball.

A man and his wife are playing golf, the woman steps up to the tee and hits her ball. It sails off over the trees and smashes through a window of a neighbouring house. ther man yells at his wife ' oh look what youve done well have to go and pay for that'

so they wander up to the house and see the doors open, they walk in and see the glass from the broken window and theres a broken lamp as well. they walk over to the lamp and see a man laying on the sofa.
The husband goes ' sorry about your window mate we will pay to fix it'
the man on the sofa replies ' No thank you, I;m a genie and i have been trapped in that lamp for a 1000 years and you set me free. I can now grant three wishes, one for each of you and if you don't mind ill keep one for myself'

the husband and the life look at each other and decide this sounds fair.
the husband asks to be a millionaire and the genie tells him that when he gets home he will find he is now the richest man the world so then the mans wife says that she would like to have the biggest house in the world and a servant from every country. the genie tells her again when she gets home she will see her new house.

then the man and the wife look at each other then ask the genie what his wish will be .

he says ' well as you know i have been locked in that bottle for 1000 years and all i really want is to be with a woman again. Since I've granted you your wishes i would like to spend the afternoon with your wife. the man looks at the woman and they both agree that its fair.

So the genie and the woman go upstairs and spend hours having sex.
when the genie is finished he looks at the woman and says " how old are you and your husband?'
"were both 30"
to which the genie replies
"ahah you both 30 yet you still believe in genies?

BLOND JOKES!!!

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.
She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.
He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".
"I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms!"

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she said to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.

She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind Of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at The blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke.

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. 'No woman,' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret.'
'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'
'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted.
'I hardly think so!' responded the blonde lady. 'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?"

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to dye her hair so she would look like a brunette. Once she was finished and her hair was brown, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"